How To Castrate Yourself at Home

     Are you a homosexual man twisted by drugs into a crude mockery of nature? Do you believe that you will become a real woman by getting rid of your dick and balls? If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then I recommend you to get rid of your balls by castrating yourselves.

    Now I know you're saying to yourself, "Tanish, I think it is very unsafe to castrate yourself at home. We should leave that to the professionals they know what they are doing and I don't want to risk my life. My name is Devon by the way". Well fuck you, Devon, you are a gay bitch. We will do this at home because I'm not going to let those money-hungry faggots touch my balls. 

Now that we have that out of the way. Here are Scientifically Proven ways  to castrate yourself at home

#1. The Nut Cracker Technique 

     This is a total DIY method. For those idiots who don't know what DIY is, DIY stands for Do It Yourself. which means I will show you the finest method to help you to get rid of your balls all by yourself.

 

This method revolves around you squashing your balls with various hard and heavy objects to end their functioning. It may be agonising and there is a very high chance that you might die of blood loss but the results will be quick because one hit and your testicles will be gone.

Here are the ways you can squash or destroy your ballsack 

• Drop an Anvil on your nutsack  
• Squashing your balls with a Heavy- Duty Hammer 
• Stoning your nuts
• Chopping your balls off

Bonus Tip: I suggest you take anaesthetic to negate the pain and get rid of your balls safely and painlessly

#2 Exploiting a Loophole

                 There is a relatively fun way to get rid of your balls. Governments of some retarded countries have chemical castration as a punishment for Sexual Assault. Here at Nexromanxer Corporation INC™, we believe in the exploitation of loopholes in rules and regulations for personal gain.

Consider this your "Last Supper".For those who don't know, Last Supper was the final meal Jesus shared with his apostles in Jerusalem before his crucifixion. 

Likewise, I recommend you to have Your Last Supper by raping a woman or two in order to claim free castration from the government.

But how do I rape a woman? That will be a topic for a future blog